The Take Out Move

Rating: 7/10

Director and Writer: Andrew Simonian

Style: Comedy

Time: 74 minutes

Trailer: www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV2stp7Md6s

Rating: R

Review by Mike Szymanski

This clever comedy is like a small-scale “Animal House” where two guys try to fulfill some assignments to get into a fraternity. It’s rife with all the dick jokes you can handle, and as juvenile as that may sound to you at first, it’s bound to make you laugh.

What makes this film even more fascinating is that it was made for only $3,500 and already has made a mark by winning awards at a dozen film festivals throughout the world.

Written, produced, and directed by Andrew Simonian, he used his credit card and called in a lot of favors to complete this funny passion project.

Simonian says, “After a couple of decades in television, I set out to show the world that truly independent filmmaking is still possible — that you can make an entertaining, professional feature film without having to raise money or jump through the hoops of Hollywood studios or agencies.”

Instead of waiting for other people’s money, he decided to make something fun and kinetic on his own, and created this comedy with any big name stars. He made his whole movie for what is most film project’s daily catering cost. The movie is based on a short film of the same name that was expanded very well into a feature.

Watch the outtakes at the end of the movie where the actors are trying to recreate exactly the moves that were made in the short film, including the falls and the slapstick. That alone is hysterical.

You know it’s going to be fun with the disclaimer at the beginning which has you scratching your head at first: “Based on the Real Facts of a Fictional True Story.”

The opening of the film has a shadowy guy talking to two different men at apparently different times. He is telling them the same thing, as the camera spins around in a neat camera trick and showing both sides of the multiple conversations.

The two guys are told that their mission is to take out the same woman and do it on the same night. The absurd situation ends up with the guys both at the girl’s house at the same time.

What makes this such a good film are the interactions between the two competitors, Whalen and Davis. Irrepressibly cute and funny Jeremy Sless with the puppy-dog eyes is the actor playing Whalen. He is very charming in this role, and his facial expressions are priceless.

Davis is portrayed by Nick Grace, who also comes across as charming and non-threatening to the girl, Amber, played by Alexandra Miles.

As Davis and Whalen compete for Amber’s affection, she becomes stranger and stranger and so do the tasks she asks them to perform. She becomes enamored by the sparring that these two strangers seem to be going through to get her attention.

Initially, she meets Whalen because she opens a door in his face and knocks him out. While he is recuperating on her sofa, she calls a friend and explains the situation and is asked if she looked down his pants to see his penis. What kind of girl do you think Amber is, she asks resentfully? Then admits that she did in fact look. And, Whalen is hearing this the whole time while pretending to be knocked out in the other room.

She has them do some oddball things for her, including listening to her sing a warped rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” while playing her ukulele which is as painful as it may sound.

And, then it gets more hysterical as she has the two guys pose naked for her as she paints them and asks them to hold still. As their privates brush up against each other (off camera), they react and tease each other in their uncomfortable position.

A lot of the humor in this movie is based on misunderstandings, such as listening to conversations around the corner or through a doorway. The funniest is when the two guys talk about their dogs, one big and one small, and Amber overhears them and thinks they are perverts talking about their private parts once again. That bit is so funny you want it to go on longer.

Some of the camera trickery seems almost as if the director was playing with new devices at his editing bay. There are many montages and inserts with split-screen scenes or walking through Los Angeles that gets old rather quickly.

Some of the editing makes no sense, as they skip around and divide up the same scene throughout the day. Why would she be shocked about their “dick discussions” for example, after she has seen them both naked while having them pose nude for her?

And, while the guys pontificate about the value of red velvet cake, or argue about how to pack a car with boxes, watch for some of the clever insertions that the writer/director makes throughout the movie. While the two guys are fighting over her, like a lover’s spat in a way, she is reading a book called “Bi Curious George.” When the guys go into their martial arts fighting, their voices don’t match their lips, as if they were dubbing it for another language or in a bad karate film.

It’s no wonder why that this film collected 20 award nominations so far and won 11 times for Best Comedy or Best Feature over the past year at film festivals from Rome to Hong Kong, Kyiv to Vancouver.

I recommend getting some take out, breaking out a bunch of beer, and sitting down to watch this with a bunch of friends.

‘The Take Out Movie’ landed on all worldwide VOD platforms starting on Sept. 13, 2022.

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