You, Me & Her

Rating: 10/10

Director: Dan Levy Dagerman

Writer: Selina Ringel

Style: Comedy, Drama

Time: 1 hour and 34 minutes

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn7S3J2MAbc

Review by Mike Szymanski

I have written decades of reviews about coming out experiences, and the most tragic circumstances, (and generally the most unhealthy) revolve around coming out as bisexual.

Not here. “You, Me & Her” is a positive story and a delightful movie where the coming out process is still painful, treacherous and fraught with pitfalls, but ends up being a very positive experience. And, it’s very realistic.

Not only is the cast perfect in every role, but everything is beautiful, from the sets on their trip in Mexico to the painfully realistic dialogue. The excruciatingly awkward moments are handled with humor and pathos, and this ends up being one of the most positive portrayals of adult bisexuality to come out in the movies in a long time.

What’s clear is that the actress/writer/producer Selina Ringel who portrays the bi-curious mom, is pulling from reality to whatever extent. In real life, she is both Mexican and Jewish, a wife and a new mom like her character. At a film festival interview where she was debuting this movie, she is quoted as saying how refreshing it is to see it all put up there on the big screen. Thank you for doing so.

Ringel stars as Mags, a new mother who is married to Ash, played by Ritesh Rajah (whom you may recognize from “Russian Doll” and he played Mowgli’s father in the real-life “Jungle Book” movie). Rajah is quite enjoyable as the wide-eyed new father who wants to please his increasingly bored wife, and they go on a spontaneous trip without their child.

At first, they meet another couple who gloms onto them pretty fiercely, and they immediately suggest hooking up in a four-way. Mags seems a bit intrigued by the idea.

But, then the guy suggests to Ash, “You wouldn’t be the first Dominican guy I’ve slept with” and that shocks Ash, who is very much not interested.

“Are you swingers?” Ash asks.

“We are lovers of people,” comes the reply.

“You are not bi? No judgment, no disrespect,” the guy insists.

“I’m not bi,” says Ash.

“It’s 2023, everyone’s bi,” the guy replies.

Ash and Mags go back to their hotel room a bit frazzled, but it opens up the question that Mags was more than just a bit intrigued.

Mags admits to her husband, “Maybe, yeah, I’ve always been attracted to women.”

It’s clear this relationship already has strains on it before this trip. Ash is caught watching porn and masturbating in the bathroom by his wife, and neither seems very interested in the other sexually. The couple has been together for a decade, and they seem at odds in every decision.

Then, Mags takes a yoga class on the beach and meets Angela (who is played by Sydney Park who is from “Walking Dead” and “First Love.”) Angela is a carefree spiritual nomad and it gives the couple an intense desire to finally have a threesome that could maybe jump-start their marriage.

Angela pegs Mags immediately, summing up: “You used to be crazy, you have scary eyes.”

Selina Ringel and her husband Daniel Levy Dagerman, who directed this film, also created HBO’s “Single Mother by Choice.” They put a spin on Selina’s real-life pregnancy and filmed her through the stages of it during the pandemic.

In “You, Me & Her” they continue to explore a young couple’s complicated relationship in today’s world.

Ash is intrigued, not insulted, about his wife’s interest in women and her sudden burgeoning of exploration. He says, “It makes me realize I don’t know anything about you, and it makes more all the more curious.”

They stumble across all sorts of anxieties when it seems like they may be headed for a three-way. Do they need a safe word like “unicorn poop?” Does he need a dose of Viagra?

Just in the middle of a potential liaison, some irritating neighbors drop by for their trivia game night, and they seem to understand what is going on and want to participate.

Things don’t go as they all had imagined, but Mags is thrilled that Angela “gave me permission to be a version of myself I really liked.”

This comedic drama already has its share of awards including: at Dances with Films in July 2023; Best Romantic Comedy at the Los Angeles Film Awards and Best LGBTQ film at the Athens Monthly Film Festival. It showed at the Sherman Oaks Film Festival and the Latino Film Festival in New York.